When you care enough to send the very best, the Christmas card can cure all that ails you—except for when sending cards is what ails you! Everyone’s goal through the Christmas season is to make it to January guilt free over what you did or didn’t do during the holiday season. Whether we realize it or not, the guilt starts with the Christmas cards.
Back in the day, I sent out cards to my family, my husband’s family, all my friends, and their families too. I even extended out all the way to the UPS guy. So basically, I sent to anyone I could think of, which literally included everyone and their mother. My Christmas card list was as big as the invitation list for an Italian wedding. It was well over 200. I’d hand write special messages on each card using a special glitter pen and I decorated the envelope with stickers and stamps. I even sent out special cards to all the prejudiced ones on my list just to bust their asses on purpose. All those against the Jews and Blacks got Hanukah and Kwanzaa cards and the atheists got the Jesus, Mary and Joseph family photo.
Then when I had kids, I stepped out of the box and did a picture Christmas card of them. At that point I was leveling off at 300+ which gave me a discount for the postage at the post office. I became so obsessed with the picture Christmas cards, that I found myself setting up mock Christmas scenes in my house in mid July. I was taking the kids’ pictures of them all dressed up in Christmas clothes, sweating their asses off because this was the time of year where I had the most time before it was back to school and the shit hit the fan. I did this for many years until they grew out of it and I did too. So at that point, I returned back to the box. Except this time, there were no messages inside or the use of a special pen. No stickers, stamps, and absolutely no “special cards.” It lasted a good while, but nothing lasts forever, life changes. At that point it was just flick my bic and sign my name like a doctor. I left everyone no choice but to bring the card down to their local pharmacy and ask the pharmacist if he ever saw this signature before. And that, my sisters, is when you know you’ve had your fill of doing Christmas cards. After that I passed them to my daughter to do. But let’s faced it; it’s just not the same. I do remember one year handing her the list and the boxes of cards and she said, “This is the last time I’m doing this,” and I said, “to send or not to send… Ya know what, I’ll drink to that!”
Now that I’m a woman in her forties, “telling it like it is” is a necessity in life like the air I breathe. I’m really not a bitch, I’m just honest! I’ve grown to understand that I can enjoy the holiday guilt free by doing less and accomplishing much more for myself. At this point in my life, if I send something it’s because I want to, not because I have to, was told to, or was guilt tripped into it.
So, my sisters, put the pen down, save your time, save your stamps, and save your life. We’re all gonna be okay. Everyone will get over it and the world won’t fall apart.
Here’s to going paperless!!! Cheers, Merry Christmas!