Getting together one evening with friends, I noticed that we all started off together as couples, which was probably for about fifteen minutes max, then the transition happened. The guys and the girls went their separate ways. It never fails that anytime guys and girls get together it seems like we revert back to the old fashion school day rules of the girls on one side and the boys on the other.
I was a victim to this child’s play and wasn’t even conscious of it, and to tell you the truth, neither was anyone else. It seems like we all start off together then we separate for awhile and come back together again. But when we come together, we somehow seem to sit boy-girl style or the girls on one side of the table and the boys on the other. Subconsciously saying to one another like we did back in the day, “my side is better than yours.”
Finding a guy sitting at the girls table will eventually end up with the guy being bullied by the girls and this is not a pretty sight. One time I just had to ask this guy that was at our table why he was sitting with us. He never came up with a good enough answer so we told him to leave and if he didn’t, we would all personally gang up on him and kick his ass.
If a girl is at the guys table, the guys will never tell her to leave, she will either leave on her own because she is bored to death with the conversation, or one of the other girls will rescue her back to their table by saying, “Why are you sitting with them? Come sit with us.” It is this constant flow of harmony that we have to have with each other and if someone breaks the rhythm, everyone feels it.
Yes, there’s one in every crowd; the couple that has to be joined at the hip no matter where they go: the “trophy couple”, the one’s that throw everyone out of sync. They are the ones that stay together throughout the entire party, never leaving each other’s side. Yup- there he is, kissing his women’s ass by getting her food and drink and honoring her every command all while he drinks fake beer. This always seems to spike up conversation at the girls table with mixed emotions of, “I wish my husband did that,” to, “Oh my God, they are so disgusting.” Here’s the deal about the trophy couple: no one really wants either of them at their table because they can’t be separated. So the secretive girl and guy talk has to be kept at a “PG” rating because we can’t get down and dirty due to a space invader that is at our table. But in the trophy couples eyes, if they can’t sit together then they will stand it out, because they’re a package deal. And to us they are pathetic. Too bad they choose to stand on the side lines instead of joining in on the fun. But then again, what would we do if we didn’t have them to talk about? God knows they make for great conversation pieces. It’s not every day you get to see a guy that traded in his balls to ride bitch and drink O’doul’s, and a girl who totally dishonors her womanhood and only knows how to claim her power by being a needed bitch.
Yes, it’s the way we were raised and the nature of the beast as to why we claim our territory and our sides no matter where we are. We seem to live with this imaginary line that separates us from each other. Think about it, how many times do we say, get on your own damn side? And no other place is this statement used more than in the bedroom by us girls saying to our men, “Get on your own damn side!” But here’s the difference between guys and girls in the bedroom: the guys will always give us an open invitation to join them on their side and we all know why that is, but us girls, we don’t give a damn about that. We won’t allow them in our space unless we give them the okay and even then we can change our minds in a split second because it’s what we do best, and if the guys can’t handle it… too bad. As far as I’m concerned they are lucky they can still sleep in the same bed with us seeing that we have to come to bed suited up like we are going in for combat just to go to sleep, with our pillow barriers, gas masks and ear plugs. Complicated? Not really, I say, “just stay on your damn own side and everything will be fine.” Hey, let’s face it; this system of the guys on one side and the girls on the other has been working like a charm since the beginning of time, so why ruin a good thing? Yup- I’ll drink to that!