1) “My mother always came first in my life.”
2) “I gave up my life for you!”
3) “Why can’t you just pacify me? This is the way I am and I’m not going to change.”
4) “You’ll mourn my death for three days, and then you’ll just forget about me and get on with your life.”
5) “You’ll miss me when I die…”
6) “Why can’t you be more like her? She does everything for her mother.”
7) “Why didn’t you tell me you were doing that?! Like I always said, ‘If you can’t tell your mother, you must be doing something wrong.’”
8) “Mothers don’t have to say they’re sorry.”
9) “I’m your mother! And don’t you ever forget it!”
10) “Why do you always have to make things so difficult? Why can’t we just get along?!”
As we all know, there is no greater love than a mother’s love, and no greater guilt than a mother’s guilt; especially the guilt that a mother casts on her daughter.
For me, something happened one day that made me hit the breaking point. All I ever wanted for myself was liberty and justice; not to be called a bitch just because I pleaded “not guilty.” I just wanted the freedom to be me without carrying the guilt. But, that never worked because I fell into the trap of, “I’m damned if I do and I’m damned if I don’t.” I’m a bitch if I stand up for myself and a miserable bitch if I give into the guilt trips, which always end up holding me hostage on Guilt Trip Island.
Through the years, the guilt took its toll and gradually started affecting many close people in my life. Just the thought of passing the “guilt torch” to my daughter made me ill. So, I decided that my days of having a lifetime membership to the all inclusive resort on “Guilt Trip Island” where I was born have now expired. I’ve terminated the membership because I’m not guilty, never was guilty, and am done playing the guilt trip head games.
I did the opposite one day and took a chance on myself: I went against everything I was taught and became brain washed into believing that “the grass isn’t greener on the other side.” I thought, “Well, how am I ever gonna know for sure if I don’t go and see for myself?”
I left everything behind and swam off of the island with “Wilson.” For me, it was a better choice to become a “motherless bitch” who was happy and owned her freedom. It wasn’t easy at first, but as I kept swimming with Wilson, I found an inner peace and joy that I never experienced before.
When I hit land, all I kept saying was, “Oh my God, I never saw grass this green in my entire life!” Not long after smelling the fresh green grass, Wilson gave me instructions and said, “Build it, and they will come.” So, that’s what I did with this blog; it’s the sisterhood that’s guilt free!
“Rescuing one sister off Guilt Trip Island one story at a time.” Vacancy, Cocktails, and Laughter… Come thirsty.
Pass it on!