• Getting rear ended in McDonalds drive thru.
• Running to answer the phone and you sprain your ankle on the dog’s toy.
• Your husband saying, “Fuck Me” because he forgot to make reservations for Mother’s Day brunch.
• Your daughter moving home from college for the summer.
• Middle aged women who have no balls.

• Your girlfriend asking you if you would like to spend the afternoon with her going to tag sales.
• Finding a spider in the bottom of the coffee cup you were drinking from.
• Drinking four martinis and not getting a buzz.
• Loading your groceries in the car and then realizing it’s not your car.
• Breaking out in hives after getting a facial at the spa.

• Your friend’s toddler coughing in your mouth.
• Your waitress telling you that your tip sucked.
• Someone stealing your purse at the gym.
• Your blow-dryer catching on fire and you’re already late for work.
• Talking to someone that has garlic breath.

Booze takes the sting away.

• Asking your son if he can pick up a pizza on his way home from work and he says he can’t because he has no money.
• Coming home to a messy house after spending a relaxing vacation in Florida with the girls.
• Talking to someone that has chewing tobacco in their mouth.
• The Jehovah Witness knocking at your door.
• Opening a can of soda and it blows up in your face.