“Done……So Fucking Done”

When saying “done” is not enough for a woman, saying “so fucking done” seals the deal and that’s when you know it’s definitely over. Raise your glasses my sisters and let’s toast to the top twelve things to eliminate in our life that we are so fucking done with. Cheers!

  1. Toxic people: My motto is, “If you don’t have something good to bring to the table, find another fucking seat.”
  2. Family dysfunction and teenage drama: Leave ‘em speechless with this line and say, “Go sell crazy somewhere else; we’re all stocked up here.”
  3. Cooking: This is how I roll now: “If I feel like doing it I’ll do it, if I don’t I don’t.” I’ve kicked ass with my wooden spoon for years in more ways than one that’s for sure. Now it’s time for everyone to take responsibility and fend for themselves in this department because the damn kitchen is closed.
  4. Cleaning: My “Leave It to Beaver” days are so over! Because at this time in my life, a bottle of wine wins over a bottle of Windex any day of the week.
  5. 5.       Settling for less: Bottom line, it’s not an option anymore.
  6. Worrying: What the hell is the sense?  My days of staying up all night pacing the floor trying to solve everyone’s problems are long gone. Everything always ends up working out in the end and I lost sleep to those assholes for nothing.
  7. Suffering in silence: As a cancer survivor, I’ve learned that holding in my emotions is hazardous to my health. I feel empowered when I express myself to others because I honor who I am. Once again people, “I’m not a bitch, I’m just honest.”
  8. Meaningless jobs: I can’t even begin to tell you how many meaningless jobs I’ve had. My favorite one was working the blue light special cart at K-mart. Hell…if I can make it there, I’ll make it anywhere.
  9. Men stuck in the comfort zone: This is the place that I call the “no zone” for women. When the comfort zone hits just remember, if you don’t like it change it. And if you can’t, then move on.
  10. Saying I can’t: I will never tell myself I can’t or will I believe someone who tells me I can’t. These two words always put a smile on my face especially when I take a chance on myself (with no one backing me up with support) and it turns to gold.
  11. Following the rules: Most of my life I played it safe by being a “good girl.” Now I live uninhibited. My new way of living rocks my world but scares the hell out of everyone. Yup, I really like my bad ass bitch side-she’s my favorite bitch!
  12. Guilt: This is the number one reason why women are so fucking done. Get rid of the guilt and it’s our freedom pass to the life we so deserve. Yes my dear sisters, we are here for a very important reason and it sure as hell isn’t to be tied down with the shackles and chains of guilt. Pre-meditate your life. Don’t waste time. Life is a self-fulfilling prophesy.

A life well lived by a woman who has mastered being “Done…….So Fucking Done” with no regrets and no guilt will always toast to her womanhood and say,

Done…….Well Fucking Done”

Simple Statements a Mother Says When Faced With Teenage Drama:

  • You’ll learn…..eventually.
  • Don’t care.
  • Not my problem.
  • Whatever.
  • You’ll figure it out.
  • Oh well.
  • Get a life.
  • That’s good.
  • You’re an asshole.
  • It’s called the real world.
  • Sucks to be you.
  • Once again your BFF’s are MIA.
  • Good luck with that one.
  • Your favorite place to be; Shits Creek forever.
  • Nice.
  • Looks like you’re fucked.
  • Move on.
  • Get over yourself.
  • No comment.
  • You’re all done.
  • Call someone who gives a damn.
  • Great story, but I’m not interested.
  • Only you.
  • I don’t know what to tell ya.

And in the end, sometimes the greatest thing a mother can do is to just say absolutely nothing and remain calm and cool. Then, pour herself glass of wine, walk away, and let the silence kick ass.

FM Moments!

  • Your dog sitting in the mud after you just gave her a bath.
  • Finding your husband sleeping in his work clothes on the new comforter set you just put on the bed.
  • Getting your period in the middle of the night and discovering that you have no pads.
  • Having lunch at an outside café and a bird steals a piece of bread from your hand.
  • Waiting at the bar for your girlfriend and an eighty year old man sends you a drink.